After the Goldrush Pt. I

I watch the jug of milk
and sit patiently as untold minions skim off the cream
Aphids are crawling in my hair
Singing top 40 tunes toodley-doo
but I rarely flinch

My castle is all bent stones and torn shrouds
I can't even muster a force of 10 men
Without an heir nor a queen
my meals are small and mere trifles
But I dream fermented grapes with great gusto

Plus... my inkblot venn diagrams are disappearing
I spend more time in line for wine
than I do spraying parapaint on the pixelboard
The echoes are unbearable
and my hands are twisted little wrecks

Can I still see healthy?
Do my toes turn blue next with rectangle keychains?
Is this jungle going to make me melt?
Does anyone still believe?

Flaming Lips on Youtube: Pure Joy

I will never look at sushi as a harmless friend again!

Eight Thousand Apologies

I have been negligent of late, leading some to believe that my life was in jeopardy/I had dropped out of contention for the least desirable scene-invader on the whole island of Montreal. Never fear! I am not only in the running... I am a whorish malcontent with too much time on his hands who's still begging to have your ear, if only for a brief, auto-erotic second.

First off, one of my recent exploits is interviewing The Cloud Room alongside my love of loves, Phyllis. We were most effective in our quest to: A) get them totally intoxicated, courtesy of Canadian Journalists; B) reach into the pits of their souls and steal their mojo, only to share it with the readers of a major publication somewhere. Looks like it will be Rage Magazine, unless it doesn't happen and we end up putting it in the Mirror or the Hour. I'm not expecting remuneration but they definately expect dedication.

I couldn't have done it without Phyllis (right- picture). She has quite the pen and she knows how to hurl questions at bands like hot pieces of metal. I am most lucky to be working with a hack of her caliber--we are meant to be together like the moon deserves the fortnight, two media-peas (press???) in an IPod. Some bands put up that cool barrier but people like Phyllis know how to dig underneath of it.

Secondly, my new band is on the go. I have a virtuosic drummer worth his his salt and a snazzy new bass player, plus a couple of other artists waiting in the wings. Besides looking for a lead guitarist, we're writing songs and playing the occasional show. I will keep you posted.

Lastly, I have a practice space/party space/venue available for rent. Please let me know if you are interested in having a spot that can hold about two to two hundred fifty people or if you need an affordable place to practice in Montreal, PQ (my number is 514-242-9840...call me anytime!). Cheers.

Canucks...get out and vote!

unless you want this guy goose-stepping his way into office.

Thinking of voting Conservative, Canada?

"However, let me just make two predictions. One is that Canada will be profoundly changed in the next five to ten years. I just don't believe the confederation we have today will look the same.

Whether Quebec separates or not, there are going to be very major changes.
The second thing is that Canada, in spite of its ongoing social democratic, welfare-state mentality, will continue to move to the right on fiscal, economic and social policy, with minor deviations, because that's the way the world is going.

When Canadians face the choice of either preserving their welfare state or adapting themselves to the world economy, they always, at times of crisis, choose to adapt themselves to the world economy."

-Stephen Harper speaking to American thinktank, Canadian Conservative leader, 1997

According to Mr. Harper, our great nation is in a perilous situation, despite the fact that the Liberals have gotten us budget surpluses for close to a decade:

"(Canada is) a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the
term, and very proud of it. Canadians make no connection between the fact that they are a Northern European welfare state and the fact that we have very low economic growth, a standard of living substantially lower than yours, a massive brain drain of young professionals to your country, and double the unemployment rate of the United States.

In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."

Do we really want this kook as our leader? America's recent experiments with neoconservativism should give us a hint. Admittedly, the Liberal Party ain't perfect, but at least they know how to balance the books and keep social spending at a reasonable level.

What are your thoughts on the election? Please comment below.

Then & Now

(Click the links 'Then' & 'Now' or else the whole text is confusing!)



Then

&

now.

The former were a band of individuals who resisted an occupation that they disagreed with.

The latter are the same.

The former believed that their ties to the land went beyond the oppressive fist that tried to take what was theirs--in this case, taxes--and rose up to strike down the mercenaries that held them at bay with their guns and artillery.

So do the latter, only they seem to prefer roadside bombings and mortar attacks (along with rocket propelled grenades and AK-47's...it is the future, after all).

The former founded a nation that believed in freedom, prosperity, and the equality of man (as long as that man wasn't a woman, or black).

The latter are being oppressed by the great-great-great grandchildren of the former.

I'm inclined to believe that the insurgency in Iraq is doing a good thing--killing civilians aside, which I vehemently oppose--and even if I despise the idea of a fundamentalist Islamic state in Iraq, what do you expect when it is invaded by the Christian States of America? Are they all going to lie down and eat the body of Christ? It's not happening.

At least the Iraqis are fighting for their nation's freedom: freedom from control by foreign powers; freedom from economic manipulation by oil hungry tyrants; above all, freedom to choose their own form of sovereignty. Like the Minutemen over two hundred years before, the Iraqis will have their day, and America will close her bases in Baghdad and move to some other desert, likely to conquer more brown people to take their oil.

So it goes.

That's what happens when you watch a 1-hour Michael Moore speech. He does things to your head. (Ann Coulter already diagnosed me. I am definately a psychotic of some sort. Can somebody please send me some percoset?)

America, Land of the "Woefully Misinformed"

"In December 1994, 57% of Americans had not heard of Newt Gingrich. In 1964, 62% of Americans believed the USSR was a member of NATO. Most Americans can't name any of their congressmen. Polls consistently show that a majority of Americans believe simultaneously that the federal government is too large and powerful, and that spending in almost all federal programs should be increased - that's a logical contradiction. Today, 70% do not know that a Medicare prescription drug benefit has been legislated, and 58% have heard 'very little' or 'nothing' about the USA Patriot Act. In 2000 only 57% of Americans knew that Gore was more liberal than Bush."

-Jason Sorens, PH.D.,Speech to SUNY-Fredonia Students & Faculty, October 21, 2005.


Statistics like these ones tend to make me shiver like the winds that blow on the coldest days of our fierce Canadian winters. I'm not saying that all Americans are as 'out of the loop' as the ones mentioned in these statistics, but that is precisely why things are going bad south of the 49th parallel lately--Katrina & Rita excluded, which were probably due to the oft-denied Global Warming that is causing weather patterns to become more chaotic--no, America is treading calmly towards becoming a corporation state, where the richest make the decisions and the poor hold up the ceiling of the house.

Democracy, or at least the strange hybrid we have turned it into, depends squarely upon the political involvement and ability to reason by most (if not all) of the citizens. When only the elite have the reins of power, they are bound to lead the rest of us astray.

What can be done to remind America that it is responsible for its own future? The populace must be reached somehow, not with attack ads or partisan pandering, but a genuine movement that will reach out to Americans of all walks of life and educate them about the political landscape.

If not, don't be surprised when China et al. begin to buy up your businesses, your land, and God-forbid, foreclose on the billions of dollars of debt owed to them for the past 5 years of excessive American spending. Also, you should definately learn how to speak Chinese, or even Japanese. The bosses will expect to be spoken to in their native language. The easy way out is teaching Americans how to vote (instead of staying home on voting day and letting extremists win)and teaching people about the laws that exist to protect their freedom and prosperity.

Bin Laden Didn't Blow Up the Projects

Since I haven't been updating as of late, here is the best rapper on earth, Immortal Technique. Enjoy these lyrics and buy/download/steal this song if you can.

Peace & excuse the N word.

~~~

[Mos Def - talking]
Man, you hear this bullshit they be talkin'
Every day, man
It's like these motherfuckers is just like professional liars
YouknowwhatI'msayin? It's wild
Listen

[Hook - Mos Def]
Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga

Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]

[Verse 1 - Immortal Technique]
I pledge no allegiance, nigga fuck the president's speeches
I'm baptized by America and covered in leeches
The dirty water that bleaches your soul and your facial features
Drownin' you in propaganda that they spit through the speakers
And if you speak about the evil that the government does
The Patriot Act'll track you to the type of your blood
They try to frame you, and say you was tryna sell drugs
And throw a federal indictment on niggaz to show you love
This shit is run by fake Christians, fake politicians
Look at they mansions, then look at the conditions you live in
All they talk about is terrorism on television
They tell you to listen, but they don't really tell you they mission
They funded Al-Qaeda, and now they blame the Muslim religion
Even though Bin Laden, was a CIA tactician
They gave him billions of dollars, and they funded his purpose
Fahrenheit 9/11, that's just scratchin' the surface

[Hook - Mos Def]
Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga

Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]

[Verse 2 - Immortal Technique]
They say the rebels in Iraq still fight for Saddam
But that's bullshit, I'll show you why it's totally wrong
Cuz if another country invaded the hood tonight
It'd be warfare through Harlem, and Washington Heights
I wouldn't be fightin' for Bush or White America's dream
I'd be fightin' for my people's survival and self-esteem
I wouldn't fight for racist churches from the south, my nigga
I'd be fightin' to keep the occupation out, my nigga
You ever clock someone who talk shit, or look at you wrong?
Imagine if they shot at you, and was rapin' your moms
And of course Saddam Hussein had chemical weapons
We sold him that shit, after Ronald Reagan's election
Mercenary contractors fightin' a new era
Corporate military bankin' off the war on terror
They controllin' the ghetto, with the failed attack
Tryna distract the fact that they engineerin' the crack
So I'm strapped like Lee Malvo holdin' a sniper rifle
These bullets'll touch your kids, and I don't mean like Michael
Your body be sent to the morgue, stripped down and recycled
I fire on house niggaz that support you and like you
Cuz innocent people get murdered in the struggle daily
And poor people never get shit and struggle daily
This ain't no alien conspiracy theory, this shit is real
Written on the dollar underneath the Masonic seal

(I don't rap for dead presidents
I'd rather see the president dead
It's never been said but I set precedents)--[Eminem]

[Hook - Mos Def]
Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga

Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects
It was you, nigga
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]
Tell the truth, nigga
(Bush knocked down the towers)--[Jadakiss]

(Shady Records was 80 seconds away from the towers
Some cowards fucked with the wrong building, they meant to hit ours)-- [Eminem]

4 Excuses For My Haphazard Updates of Late

Friends, women, countrymen...lend me your eyes.

I have been gone for many blue moons, only tossing rubbish and band promotion at you all instead of penning incendiary political criticism or interviews with Montreal's music illuminati. While some would attribute my lack of output to my lazy, id-feeding habits, I would argue that the following 4 excuses will get me off Scott-free.

• Concordia University
Skipping classes is a hard thing to do, both for students and non-students alike. Although I have missed a couple along the way, I have really been attending history and religion classes this semester, seriously depleting both my free time and my will to spend hours in front of a computer taking literary sniper shots at the Big Brother Inc. scum south of my border.

• The Dissonants
We have been playing a lot of shows recently (with the Redscare, Silent Film Soundtrack, Rio Bent, and most recently Death of Fashion) but this will change very soon. [Ed. Note: The Dissonants broke up on Wednesday, September 28th. It was an amicable split and the guys will probably get drunk together every so often as pals. Phil Shearing is going to pursue a solo project and as of press time, the rumour was that Armen Forget was starting a new band with his old singer, Phil (a different Phil, with longer hair). Nikos may be involved but this could not be confirmed.]

• Recreational intoxicants
When you're as high as a 747, it is quite difficult to actually sit down at a keyboard to contribute anything of use to humanity. Think Pete Doherty, only I don't do crack or heroin. It's really crap, anyway. My new plan is to focus on smoking dope only once a week, drinking whenever it pleases me, and staying away from Colombian seductresses who leave your wallet sore and your throat torn up the day after.

• Interviews in the Concordia Link
Since the beginning of the semester, I've interviewed two bands/musicians. The first was Whiskeytrench and turned out to be a great piece, but I missed my deadline and my editor gave the assignment to someone else. The second piece was with Beaver. That guy is one inspiring sonofabitch, in the nicest way possible. He deserves to be a megastar, or at least a new Leonard Cohen or something.

Panacea & The Dissonants @ 1221 Crescent Street Pub, Sat. Aug. 27th

~~~

Missed the Aug. 20th gig? Alternately, if you were there but want another dose of noxious Dissonance, then, by all means, please come this Saturday! (Way too many commas in that last phrase but I digress.)

~~~

Panacea & The Dissonants
Aug. 27th, 2005
1221 Crescent Street Pub
Doors @ 8 PM
Free!

The Redscare, Rio Bent & the Dissonants @ 1221 Crescent Street Pub - Sat. Aug. 20th

~~~

The Redscare, Rio Bent, & the Dissonants.
1221 Crescent Street Pub
Sat. Aug. 20th, 9 PM.
Free.


More info after the jump.

The Dissonants - "Temper's a Chord" - Video

Recorded at Missy Bar on July 30th, this video features the Dissonants, Montreal's finest antipunk band. Raw and slightly jagged, their music is poppish enough to placate the masses but sublime enough to get off the critics. "Temper's a Chord" has a lot of energy and will restore vision to the blind, put arms back on lepers, and instill a deep sense of well-being in every living soul (and it chops a mean onion).

[Ed. Note: Google Video died and so did the video, and I don't have the original...so here is a link to the song itself on Myspace...Cheers, Phil https://myspace.com/thedissonantsband/music/song/temper-s-a-chord-26201309-26002494]


~~~
For more songs & tour dates, visit The Dissonants on Myspace.com

Late night update

Saw Shoot the Moon & Wolf Parade last night (Friday).

Will write a review after I sleep for at least 100 hours.

Also, expect a CD review of Silent Film Soundtrack's last LP.

I'm only human! Must sleep.

Natasha, The Dissonants, Silent Film Soundtrack @ Missy Bar - Saturday, July 30th, $5

Sweaty, pasty summer heat got you down? Step into the cozy cavern known as Missy Bar on Saturday, July 30th and enjoy some free air conditioning and a kick-ass rock show. Featuring a boisterous line-up of Canuck indie bands, it will be a bounteous offering unto the rock gods. [Ed. Note: Jeremy, did anyone ever offer you a job as a flack? I know, you were kicked out of J-School, but maybe you're onto something here! At least you didn't use the word "seminal."]

First up will be Natasha, a razor-sharp post-rock outfit. Already getting some major attention from the local indie francophone set--their song "Esclavo del Rocanrol" is ranked 10th on the CISM 89.3 FM charts this week--they will definately bring some interesting sonic weapons to the table. (Oooh, I hope they bring a scythe!)

Next will be the band everyone loves to hate (before realizing that it was love all along and having furious, passionate make-up sex), The Dissonants. Fresh off a successful 3-show slate during the 2005 Infringement Festival, the Dissonants have promised to play several new songs that they've written in the past month. Not punk enough to hang out with Fat Mike but not rocker enough to do heroin, these unfortunately named cadavers-to-be always put on one hell of a show. They will Rise like yeast this Fall, or so I've been told.

The word on the street is that lead guitarist Armen is going to raffle off a guitar pedal he built with his own two hands, which is definately a first for the Montreal area. (Those crazy, crazy electrical engineers cannot be stopped!)

Rounding out the frenetic night will be Waterloo, Ontario's own Silent Film Soundtrack. With an Eastern Canadian tour ahead of them in August supporting their new release "diplomats & confidants", Silent Film Soundtrack will have Montreal's scenesters drooling on their Blackspots. SFS's sound is authentic and dreamy, not unlike their compatriots Broken Social Scene or even a mellower And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. With warm keys washing over intriguing guitar licks and their tight-as-a-tiger rhythm section, these guys are headlining for a reason.

A pre-music graf show starts at 7:00 PM and Missy's doors will open at 8:00 PM. The music will kick off at 9:00 o'clock sharp unless an STM bus crushes one of the bands into blood and guitar strings. My spidey sense tells me that there will only be space for about 100 people, so be early!

[Ed. Note: You can contact Philip Shearing at 514-242-9840 if you want to buy tickets in advance. Also, you can email thedissonants@gmail.com for tix or if you have any questions.]

Fall To Rise Hate The Dissonants

During last month's Infringement Festival, The Dissonants played a gig at Quai Des Brumes with the mediocre goth-lite band Fall to Rise. Afterwards, while trolling the web for press about said gig, singer/guitarist Phil came across a Livejournal post that slagged his bandmates. It was posted by Tim, Fall To Rise's keyboardist.

Eternally loyal, Phil forwarded this information to Armen (lead guitarist) and Nikos (drummer), who immediately lept into action. After a quite lengthy flame-war, involving many of the band members from both sides, Tim banned all anonymous posts and accused the Dissonants of doing too many drugs. (He was right about the drugs, of course!)

In an attempt to end the "beef" and lessen the chances of a Montreal indie-band gang war, Phil wrote the following message to Fall To Rise:

Turning off commenting on your Livejournal, Tim?

That's it guys! I'm taking my ball, and I'm going home!

In other words, you could not win the battle of words so you had to
censor us all.

Dissonants 1, Tim's pride 0.

It sucks because I went out of my way to avoid conflict but your
persistent ignorance has soured our relationship. Please don't
threaten my bandmates (or me, for that matter). You're barking up the
wrong tree, puppy.

Peace,
Slightly Pissed off Phil
vox/guitar
thedissonants@gmail.com

In response to this vaguely pacific message, Tim wrote this epic email to the Dissonants email address. (The grammar/spelling errors are all authentic)

"NO THREADS , NO MORE GAMES, ALL PROMISES DON'T FUCK WITH ME, PHIL YOU WILL GET HURT, STOP DROP THIS NOW,"
-Tim
Keyboardist for Fall To Rise

Never one to listen to orders, Phil wrote this honourable missive, and awaits a response:

Tim:

Good to hear from you, old friend! How are things with you? Sorry to
hear that you've been reduced to threatening me, all in caps, via
email. I'm really scared of keyboardists!

I believe in peace.

If you want to hurt me, go right ahead. My friends won't forget it.

Oh yeah, and you can kill me but you'd just be the Mark David Chapman
to my John Lennon.

Peace, love, and brotherhood.

=Phil=

P.S. We should keep this up. It might get your band some visibility.
You can use all the press you can get. Hell, why not kill my whole
band simultaneously? I can see the headline now.

"Unknown Keyboardist Brutally Massacres Up-and-Coming Montreal Band
THE DISSONANTS"

Cheers.

Although Phil is a big fan of Jon (guitarist for Fall To Rise), and is quite good friends with Tim's twin brother Gordie, he is very alarmed at the testosterone level of the rest of Fall To Rise. It is amazing that two unknown bands can be at each other's throats over something so inconsequential as charging cover at a show (FTR did not want to charge cover while the Dissonants were charging a measly 5 bucks and split the proceeds with all 3 bands who performed that night).

This is like Tupac and Biggie all over again. Phil has vowed to ride or die, and Tim was busy polishing his Yamaha and hence was unavailable for comment.

The Pious Rapture is Upon Us!

Know what really gets me down? Reading about fundamentalist nudniks who torment young people and try to force them to "straighten out". (Kudos to my sister for digging up an interesting news story!)

A 16-year old blogger named Zach from Tennesse was allegedly sent to "Love in Action", a group home/prison colony, by his sick, holy parents who are hoping to cure him of his "unhealthy" disease, ie. his homosexuality. Zach hasn't posted anything on his website since then. Small wonder: Internet use is prohibited. So is speaking, at least when you arrive at this cruel, bizarre Gitmo of a "rehabilitation program":

1. All new Refuge clients will be placed into Safekeeping for the initial two to three days of their program. A client on safekeeping may not communicate verbally, or by using hand gestures or eye contact, with any other clients, staff members, or his/her parents or guardians. In case of a practical need, Safekeeping clients may write down their question or request and show it to another client, staff member, or their parent or guardian. Writing may only be used when absolutely necessary. Parents and guardians must enforce their child's safekeeping status at home or in their temporary lodging.

Thou shalt Not Write:

10. Absolutely no journaling or keeping a diary outside of the MI process unless directed or approved by staff.

Even more alarming, this may have been plagiarized from George Orwell's 1984:


6. No television viewing, going to movies, or reading/watching/listening to secular media of any kind, anywhere within the client's and the parent's/guardian's control. This includes listening to classical or instrumental music that is not expressly Christian (Beethoven, Bach, etc. are not considered Christian). The only exception to the media policy is the weekly movie.

7. Refuge clients may watch one video/DVD per week that has been approved by staff via C.O.C. Movies submitted for approval must be rated G or PG. The parents/guardians are responsible for securing the video/DVD.

It won't be long before America becomes the Western equivalent of Saudi Arabia. I need a drink.

Secularism es muerto.
Secularisme est mort.
Secularism έχει πεθάνει.
Secularism has died.
Secularism is gestorven.
The rapture is upon us.

Don't Shoot The Messenger!

I can say with absolute veracity that I've discovered the best band that you've never heard of yet. They are a Mount-Vesuvius, rawk-spewing bunch of hooligans who may someday conquer Canada as a whole, and their name is Dead Messenger.

Performing live at Jupiter Room this past Sunday, they were tight as a lambskin and the whole room was grooving and bopping. Coming across like a funky, punkish hybrid of Primus and old-school punk, they defy convention and can't be easily categorized or pigeonholed.

Check out their song "Naked Chickens" (with their omni-talented bass player Seb on vocals). Another good one is "What's in a number?" but it sounds much better live for some reason.

Discovering a band like Dead Messenger makes me count my lucky stars. I am walking amongst giants in this dirty metropolis, the best city in North America.

JB Cover of Elliott Smith's "St-Ide's Heaven"

Please excuse the hiccups. This song is one of my favourites, although I do a butcher job of it in this recording! At least I think I got the lyrics right.

Censorship on C-Span

Wow! Rep. George Sensenbrenner (R-WI) is a real bastard.

Speech is only free as long as your microphone is still plugged in. Otherwise, how will the viewers at home realize that their rights are being disembowled? Oh, right. Republicans control the House, the Senate, the Whitehouse, and they're working on the Judiciary. Makes a lot of sense.

You can find a clip here (C-Span 2) of the bizarre event (scroll to near the end of the video for when Mr. Sensenbrenner cuts the mics and walks out like he owns the place.

The Dissonants @ Missy Bar - Monday, June 13th.

(From left to right: Armen, Phil, and Jeremy. Nikos can't be seen!)

Courtesy of Val Turbak. Thanks Val!