Natasha, The Dissonants, Silent Film Soundtrack @ Missy Bar - Saturday, July 30th, $5

Sweaty, pasty summer heat got you down? Step into the cozy cavern known as Missy Bar on Saturday, July 30th and enjoy some free air conditioning and a kick-ass rock show. Featuring a boisterous line-up of Canuck indie bands, it will be a bounteous offering unto the rock gods. [Ed. Note: Jeremy, did anyone ever offer you a job as a flack? I know, you were kicked out of J-School, but maybe you're onto something here! At least you didn't use the word "seminal."]

First up will be Natasha, a razor-sharp post-rock outfit. Already getting some major attention from the local indie francophone set--their song "Esclavo del Rocanrol" is ranked 10th on the CISM 89.3 FM charts this week--they will definately bring some interesting sonic weapons to the table. (Oooh, I hope they bring a scythe!)

Next will be the band everyone loves to hate (before realizing that it was love all along and having furious, passionate make-up sex), The Dissonants. Fresh off a successful 3-show slate during the 2005 Infringement Festival, the Dissonants have promised to play several new songs that they've written in the past month. Not punk enough to hang out with Fat Mike but not rocker enough to do heroin, these unfortunately named cadavers-to-be always put on one hell of a show. They will Rise like yeast this Fall, or so I've been told.

The word on the street is that lead guitarist Armen is going to raffle off a guitar pedal he built with his own two hands, which is definately a first for the Montreal area. (Those crazy, crazy electrical engineers cannot be stopped!)

Rounding out the frenetic night will be Waterloo, Ontario's own Silent Film Soundtrack. With an Eastern Canadian tour ahead of them in August supporting their new release "diplomats & confidants", Silent Film Soundtrack will have Montreal's scenesters drooling on their Blackspots. SFS's sound is authentic and dreamy, not unlike their compatriots Broken Social Scene or even a mellower And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. With warm keys washing over intriguing guitar licks and their tight-as-a-tiger rhythm section, these guys are headlining for a reason.

A pre-music graf show starts at 7:00 PM and Missy's doors will open at 8:00 PM. The music will kick off at 9:00 o'clock sharp unless an STM bus crushes one of the bands into blood and guitar strings. My spidey sense tells me that there will only be space for about 100 people, so be early!

[Ed. Note: You can contact Philip Shearing at 514-242-9840 if you want to buy tickets in advance. Also, you can email thedissonants@gmail.com for tix or if you have any questions.]

Fall To Rise Hate The Dissonants

During last month's Infringement Festival, The Dissonants played a gig at Quai Des Brumes with the mediocre goth-lite band Fall to Rise. Afterwards, while trolling the web for press about said gig, singer/guitarist Phil came across a Livejournal post that slagged his bandmates. It was posted by Tim, Fall To Rise's keyboardist.

Eternally loyal, Phil forwarded this information to Armen (lead guitarist) and Nikos (drummer), who immediately lept into action. After a quite lengthy flame-war, involving many of the band members from both sides, Tim banned all anonymous posts and accused the Dissonants of doing too many drugs. (He was right about the drugs, of course!)

In an attempt to end the "beef" and lessen the chances of a Montreal indie-band gang war, Phil wrote the following message to Fall To Rise:

Turning off commenting on your Livejournal, Tim?

That's it guys! I'm taking my ball, and I'm going home!

In other words, you could not win the battle of words so you had to
censor us all.

Dissonants 1, Tim's pride 0.

It sucks because I went out of my way to avoid conflict but your
persistent ignorance has soured our relationship. Please don't
threaten my bandmates (or me, for that matter). You're barking up the
wrong tree, puppy.

Peace,
Slightly Pissed off Phil
vox/guitar
thedissonants@gmail.com

In response to this vaguely pacific message, Tim wrote this epic email to the Dissonants email address. (The grammar/spelling errors are all authentic)

"NO THREADS , NO MORE GAMES, ALL PROMISES DON'T FUCK WITH ME, PHIL YOU WILL GET HURT, STOP DROP THIS NOW,"
-Tim
Keyboardist for Fall To Rise

Never one to listen to orders, Phil wrote this honourable missive, and awaits a response:

Tim:

Good to hear from you, old friend! How are things with you? Sorry to
hear that you've been reduced to threatening me, all in caps, via
email. I'm really scared of keyboardists!

I believe in peace.

If you want to hurt me, go right ahead. My friends won't forget it.

Oh yeah, and you can kill me but you'd just be the Mark David Chapman
to my John Lennon.

Peace, love, and brotherhood.

=Phil=

P.S. We should keep this up. It might get your band some visibility.
You can use all the press you can get. Hell, why not kill my whole
band simultaneously? I can see the headline now.

"Unknown Keyboardist Brutally Massacres Up-and-Coming Montreal Band
THE DISSONANTS"

Cheers.

Although Phil is a big fan of Jon (guitarist for Fall To Rise), and is quite good friends with Tim's twin brother Gordie, he is very alarmed at the testosterone level of the rest of Fall To Rise. It is amazing that two unknown bands can be at each other's throats over something so inconsequential as charging cover at a show (FTR did not want to charge cover while the Dissonants were charging a measly 5 bucks and split the proceeds with all 3 bands who performed that night).

This is like Tupac and Biggie all over again. Phil has vowed to ride or die, and Tim was busy polishing his Yamaha and hence was unavailable for comment.