Friday, December 29, 2006

20 years

We skirt the issues, clothe them in silk
and disregard the painted signs
You perch on kiss-yous, loaded with guilt
You turn the tainted blood to wine
I could become your ravenous joy
We'd make the town turn ox-blood red
Our children would build their own new toys
If we could smile outside our bed...

You are not god, you're not the prince
Evacuate the sunny beach
We've been the cod, our fins in splints
Emasculate the hungry leach
Engage our conscience 'till it's full
We've waited ages for your gall
It's time for real sailors to pull
because the sky's about to squall.


Phony barnyard photo-shoots,
sponsored by the lucky brands.
If the readers were astute,
they would incarcerate their hands.

We are not a pantomime.
People can still use their hearts.
Being famous ain't a crime.
Just keep the ass before the cart!

Hormone soup is ankle-deep,
those plastic grins turn to ice.
Smile to try to fight the sleep,
the maze is lost in all the mice.

Smile and make us think you love,
bring us herbs and tumbleweed.
Make us shame our only loves,
and lick our flesh to taste our needs.

The only clean mothafucka is Hollywood! Got some change for a brotha from anotha motha? Let me know how the real deal gets a feel, y'all.

My Return

Ten thousand delving debutantes,
with spaghetti hair that glowed blood black
Expressed their deepest needs and wants,
while the dish-washer hung in the back.

His hands were wrinkled pink latrines,
the soap made them become bivouacs.
They slept on soapy miles of clean
Ate the whole diner in Chilliwack

I had the school before grade 2.
They forced me to behave askant.
My principal lost all his shoes,
We hid his camera at the dance.

Feed me critical chicken MacNuggets.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Perpetual Distractions

I haven't blogged in ages. I've been working hard at the Deaf Relay job, ordering pizzas and doing phone sex--it is hard to explain, you had to be there etc.--but I realize that I haven't cursed you with an entry in many moons.

The music thing is going well... recently, we've been promised recording time, provided sans contrat, assuming that we can afford to manufacture 500 CDs and sell them while paying back the financier. We also have a show pending at 1221 Crescent Street Pub, scheduled for New Years Eve...I guess that would be the 30th of December, or maybe the 31st ??? I am not calendar equipped at this moment (excluding the Windows thing and there is no way I am clicking a mouse during this typing extravaganza.)

Once my internet connection is resurrected (praise Ethernet) I will be posting a little more regularily. I am sure that my former readers have disowned me, left me for dead, and ejaculated on my grave. Such is how business goes. Understood. In the meantime, watch Stephen Colbert every weeknight and drink as much alcohol as you can without missing your rent deadline.

I love every single person that breathes on this mispelled planett.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

After the Goldrush Pt. I

I watch the jug of milk
and sit patiently as untold minions skim off the cream
Aphids are crawling in my hair
Singing top 40 tunes toodley-doo
but I rarely flinch

My castle is all bent stones and torn shrouds
I can't even muster a force of 10 men
Without an heir nor a queen
my meals are small and mere trifles
But I dream fermented grapes with great gusto

Plus... my inkblot venn diagrams are disappearing
I spend more time in line for wine
than I do spraying parapaint on the pixelboard
The echoes are unbearable
and my hands are twisted little wrecks

Can I still see healthy?
Do my toes turn blue next with rectangle keychains?
Is this jungle going to make me melt?
Does anyone still believe?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Eight Thousand Apologies

I have been negligent of late, leading some to believe that my life was in jeopardy/I had dropped out of contention for the least desirable scene-invader on the whole island of Montreal. Never fear! I am not only in the running... I am a whorish malcontent with too much time on his hands who's still begging to have your ear, if only for a brief, auto-erotic second.

First off, one of my recent exploits is interviewing The Cloud Room alongside my love of loves, Phyllis. We were most effective in our quest to: A) get them totally intoxicated, courtesy of Canadian Journalists; B) reach into the pits of their souls and steal their mojo, only to share it with the readers of a major publication somewhere. Looks like it will be Rage Magazine, unless it doesn't happen and we end up putting it in the Mirror or the Hour. I'm not expecting remuneration but they definately expect dedication.

I couldn't have done it without Phyllis (right- picture). She has quite the pen and she knows how to hurl questions at bands like hot pieces of metal. I am most lucky to be working with a hack of her caliber--we are meant to be together like the moon deserves the fortnight, two media-peas (press???) in an IPod. Some bands put up that cool barrier but people like Phyllis know how to dig underneath of it.

Secondly, my new band is on the go. I have a virtuosic drummer worth his his salt and a snazzy new bass player, plus a couple of other artists waiting in the wings. Besides looking for a lead guitarist, we're writing songs and playing the occasional show. I will keep you posted.

Lastly, I have a practice space/party space/venue available for rent. Please let me know if you are interested in having a spot that can hold about two to two hundred fifty people or if you need an affordable place to practice in Montreal, PQ (my number is me anytime!). Cheers.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Monday, January 09, 2006

Thinking of voting Conservative, Canada?

"However, let me just make two predictions. One is that Canada will be profoundly changed in the next five to ten years. I just don't believe the confederation we have today will look the same.

Whether Quebec separates or not, there are going to be very major changes.
The second thing is that Canada, in spite of its ongoing social democratic, welfare-state mentality, will continue to move to the right on fiscal, economic and social policy, with minor deviations, because that's the way the world is going.

When Canadians face the choice of either preserving their welfare state or adapting themselves to the world economy, they always, at times of crisis, choose to adapt themselves to the world economy."

-Stephen Harper speaking to American thinktank, Canadian Conservative leader, 1997

According to Mr. Harper, our great nation is in a perilous situation, despite the fact that the Liberals have gotten us budget surpluses for close to a decade:

"(Canada is) a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the
term, and very proud of it. Canadians make no connection between the fact that they are a Northern European welfare state and the fact that we have very low economic growth, a standard of living substantially lower than yours, a massive brain drain of young professionals to your country, and double the unemployment rate of the United States.

In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."

Do we really want this kook as our leader? America's recent experiments with neoconservativism should give us a hint. Admittedly, the Liberal Party ain't perfect, but at least they know how to balance the books and keep social spending at a reasonable level.

What are your thoughts on the election? Please comment below.