Monday, September 27, 2004

Bush's Guided Tour of the Oval Office

Bush may not have a plan for pulling out of Iraq, but he does have time to give guided tours of the Oval Office.

"The job of a president is to set big goals for the country," Bush says. "Big objectives. And in order to achieve those objectives, the country must be united."

Like...bombing other countries? Increasing medicare premiums? Letting jobs slip away to foreign shores while plants close down all around America?


Admiring his presidential rug, proudly crafted by his wife Laura, he notes that the eagle on the seal faces the olive branch in its left-hand talon, not the right-hand claw full of arrows. (Funny. Left=olive branch, Right=arrows, ie. Anti-war movement versus Neo-Con Attack Squad.)

"Of course, it's always important to make sure you got enough arrows in the talons to keep the peace," he admits.

Pointing to the massive desk in front of the window, he says "...this door was put on the desk by Franklin Roosevelt to cover his infirmities."

One painting on his wall shows a horseman riding up a steep cliff. Weird symbol, but it is analagous to the way Bush leads his nation. They're a pack animal and he's riding them right into a bottomless pit. "A president must serve himself, not his self interests," Bush says, unaware of the irony inherent in his statement.

"The other paintings are all from Texas. It's where I'm from, and where I'm going."

Patting a bust of Churchill affectionately, he says "I like Churchill because he was a great war leader, he was resolute, and he had a fabulous sense of humour."

"My family is a priority in my life," Bush says. That's for guess is that your priority is definately not your nation. You're leading them up a steep cliff and the shale rock is chipping away as you gallop. When will America realize what a swindle you're roping them into? The whole Iraq quagmire was probably just a front to cover the billions of dollars you stole from the treasury to pay for your millionaire-friendly tax cuts and elimination of the dividend tax.

Kerry may not be perfect but at least he'll choose a cabinet that isn't war hungry. Also, he's being watched by the progressive side of his party so he won't step on any toes, aside from the Pharmaceutical/HMO cronies and possibly the military/industrial complex that Eisenhower warned us about. If you have any love for your land at all, vote Kerry in 2004.

This message was brought to you by Ralph Nader. [Ed. Note: We're fibbing about the Nader thing. Ralph is busy nipping at Kerry's heels in all the swing states. Admittedly, John Kerry isn't exactly helping himself by being so stiff and impersonal on camera. Bush seems like a good ol' boy, which will play well in the populous southern bible belt. I'm scared shitless.]